Happy Valentine's Day

Hello to you, the happy couple. Congratulations on staying together through both the full and empty glass. Today is the holiday created just for the two of you- so what are you going to drink to celebrate it? You're not going the commercial route with the wine or champagne, are you? You need to stay true to yourselves, just the way you've stayed true to each other- by pounding those beers! My choice for you on this special day is Rogue's Chocolate Stout. You have to incorporate the chocolate thing somewhere, so where better than actually in the beer? That way you don't even have to deal with bothersome food interfering with your nice Valentine's buzz. The only other beer I could think that would be worthy of this day is Yards Love Stout, but that is only available in the Philly area and you don't want to be there now. 46 inches of snow in the past week does not sound romantic in the slightest, so stick with the Rogue. It is a 22 ouncer, perfect for sharing with that special someone. Bring two straws.
I'm not forgetting all the single people out there, either. Bitter is the keyword for you on this hateful holiday, so my first suggestion is once again a beer from Rogue. Brutal Bitter, a hopped-up ESB from the Oregon brewery, fits the bill nicely. But you say you are REALLY tired of the deluge of heart decorations and Whitman's samplers and goo-goo eyes couples are giving each other? You need something to make your brain hazy from these sorrowful visions, and I suggest Moylan's Hopsickle IPA. 10% ABV, too many bitter, bitter IBUs to count, this beer will make you forget the ones that got away and concentrate on the beautiful brown bottle in your hand. Forget a glass- you will only end up throwing it. Drink straight from the bottle, and embrace the bitterness until the alcohol makes your eyes go all goo-goo on themselves.