Tuesday, August 4, 2009

This is Why I Always Bring My Own to Their House

I'm sure you all have heard the story about the Harvard professor who was dealt the unfortunate combination of a stuck front door and a good Samaritan neighbor who mistook Professor Gates for a burglar. Either that, or the neighbor is a Yale guy and wanted to cause trouble. While I'm not about to get into the whole race discussion, as I treat my Stouts the same as I do my Wit beers, I would like to talk about the beers of choice on the day the parties involved met to clear the air.

Let's start with the second most important person in the world, who drank the least important beer in the world: Vice President Joe Biden chose Buckler, a non-alcoholic beer. I do feel that a person of Biden's stature is setting a bad example for kids who look up to him, but I'll let it slide this time. Maybe he was sick, or has an alcohol problem that I am unaware of. But next time he should go with a beer from Iron Hill Brewery in Wilmington, DE, where Biden lived and served. Their very limited bottle releases are pricey, but we pay him well.

Oh, Mr. President. I don't expect you to drink the hoppiest Double IPA, but I would think that you would choose a beer from an American company (come to think of it, Buckler is owned by Heineken). The former Anheuser Busch company, while not making anything that I was crazy over, still was an American institution, and also made the only beer my grandfather drinks. Though Budweiser is still the same, Anheuser Busch is of course now AmBev, after being acquired by the Belgian/Brazilian giant InBev. If the President wants something light, he could drink Capitol Kolsch from local brewpub Capitol City Brewery. Maybe he was trying to connect with everyday America, but at this point, I don't think a beer is gonna gain him any points.

This next guy, no wonder he got to be a professor. He decided against his original beer choice, Red Stripe, and instead went with an All American Samuel Adams Light. For a light beer, this one actually has a good amount of flavor, especially compared to Red Stripe, which should only be consumed during an island vacation. And the choice is doubly good, as Gates lives in the same that is home to the Boston Beer Company, maker of the Samuel Adams line of beers.

I was kind of surprised by the police officer's choice of beers: Blue Moon Belgian White beer. Police officers seem to be more of the macho types, and Blue Moon has become very popular among the female beer drinkers out there. I admit that I like it sometimes as a light option during the Summer, especially when, God forbid, I am at a bar with limited beer options. But I still fell kind of funny walking around with a big glass that has fruit on the top of it. And then I look around and see one guy drinking a Bacardi Ice, and his friend is drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and everything is right again. Maybe that is how Officer Crowley felt when looking at the other beers around the table.

And it seems that the power of beer has once again helped smooth over what was once an ugly situation, though I imagine Joe Biden's Buckler only contributed a greater need to pee. And though the beers weren't what maybe you or I would choose, at least they were drinking, and not ashamed of it. Anyway, I think we've all learned something very important here: What you drink isn't relative to how far you get in life...but it should be.

4 comments:

jessepedersen said...

brilliant.

NullPointer said...

I love the seating arrangement. The first rule of Cartography: No two colors can touch.

Vanessa said...

The whole thing bothered me...if I would have been there I would have started a brawl and kicked everyone in the arse for drinking such dumb beer.

marcus said...

I sit and laugh at this after reading. I will go the rest of the day laughing at Joe Bidden choice of beer.