Friday, April 23, 2010

Pre-Dark Lord Day

Y'all know that I am here in beautiful Munster, Indiana for the one day release of Three Floyds Brewery's Dark Lord Imperial Stout. This is the largest gathering of idiots who waste good money that could be spent on houses or cars but instead split their money between hard to find beers and plastic girlfriends. And by plastic, I don't mean the Ugged, rimless-glasses-ed, and designer sweatpant-ed girls who only date Ferrari-driving guys with gelled hair. I mean the DIY "girls" that you have to blow up before they will blow you back. The kind I get.

Look. Local beers on tap! Sure, it is the Sunport's Rt. 66 "Brewpub", but at least you can get Santa Fe IPA, Alien Amber, or Santa Fe Pale Ale on tap. But you don't have to. You can get bottled water for $2.50 instead, like I did. Yes, I drink water too! I have a lot of drinking to do this weekend, so I abstained. Though being stuck with a group of high school students from Eldorado and Rio Rancho who were on their way to a Marketing competition in Louisville, Kentucky (don't we have good enough markets here?) tried patience that my Ipod couldn't even placate. "Morgan! How tall are you!!??? You are sooo tall!!! (no shit! I had to squeeze by you when I got up to pee). "I have a 13 year old cousin who is 6"4 but they (the height doctors, I presume) say he is gonna be like 7"8!"

We did land, eventually, not before I wished the students failure in their upcoming competition. The "Oh my GOSH's" reverberated in my head as I laughed my way to the rental car counter. Dodge Charger. Pretty fast. But no match for Chicago's Cicero Blvd., which is apparently the only way out of Midway Airport. I sat in traffic forever, sated slightly by the smooth jazz station coming out of the Charger's speakers.

I stopped at Kenwood Liquors, an old favorite of mine that never lets me down. Except when you try to pay wit ha credit card. Cash only, please. I bought $70 worth of beer, including Hoppin' Frog Hop Dam Triple IPA, Southern Tier Gemini DIPA, Three Floyds Dreadnaught DIPA, Dark Horse Crooked Tree DIPA, Goose Island Night Stalker Imperial Stout, and a 12-pack of Beck's 64. C'mon, I need something to just drink like water instead of polluting myself with water! I then drove through the EZ-Pass lane of the toll road without having an EZ-Pass. Damn 18-wheeler wouldn't let me over! That one's on you, Thrifty Rent-A-Car.

Fast-forward to later. I got to my hotel, checked-in, and hit Three Floyds Brewpub for Dreadnaught and Barrel aged Popskull (collaboration between Dogfish Head and Three Floyds)on tap. Made friends (cause you all who know me know that is what I do best, right?) with a guy from Louisville, Kentucky (small world!), a couple from State College, PA, and a beer blogger from Milwaukee. We hung out inside while a line gathered outside for the standing-room only pub. At some point I realized that I hadn't checked the precious cargo I brought with me, so I headed back to the room. All the beers I brought were intact, including the local beers in the picture. New Mexico, represent!

Here's my $150 a night room. Nicer than your whole house! Expensive, but that's what you get when you stay in Munster. You want cheese history, my friend, this is the heart of it. I'm about to go downstairs and meet up with the guys in the parking lot who have their car stereo entertaining them while they drink various crafts out of their coolers. Till tomorrow!

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